Valentine's Day Memories
This is the first Valentine's Day since Popa died that I have not sent my mother
a bouquet of flowers.
She passed away late last year leaving a big hole in my life and heart.
Holidays are especially hard because she had always made them so special.
She was gifted at hospitality, was a great cook  and was
very creative.
And fun!
As a young girl I longed for the day that I could do the same.I enjoyed calling her on special days as well as every few days just to chat.
It became harder to talk over the last couple of years but I loved hearing her voice
and enjoyed her indomitable sense of humor.
I miss laughing together like giggly girls.
I also loved sending her little notes or things I'd see and want to give her.
That gave me such pleasure. I miss that too and still find myself, as I did the other
day, seeing things and immediately thinking I want to buy it for Mom or
tell her about something.
It is hard to stop what has been a habit my whole life long.
On holidays along with sending flowers and maybe a stuffed animal or something,
 I would pick out candy and/or other fun things for everyone else who worked or lived there. 
I had no idea that this would give Mom such pleasure.
She believed she had gotten those things for everyone and took great joy
in telling me what she bought, and how she placed them at each person's place
at the dining room table.
It was as if she was entertaining or having company again.
I had never even thought of that before.
The administrator told me, how she would open the box and put the things out
 decorating the dining room table with them happily as she went.
The guest home where she lived made a big deal of events like Valentine's Day
also, ordering a special dessert, making special dinners, hiring dancers, singers or

other entertainers to come to the house and inviting everyone's families.
 Mom made each holiday or other family event very special so this was perfect for her.

I know as she aged, especially after Popa died, that she missed being able to entertain.
Every single year she would tell me what her plans were for each
holiday.She always wanted family at her house.
But she tired and the family grew so, it became too much for her. This always

bothered her even though she enjoyed and would tell me all about the
get-togethers.  She was always included in whatever the family who still

 lived near her did.
But even that eventually became too difficult for her.
So, to think that the packages I sent for holidays gave some of that back 

to her made me very happy.
This is the first year in a very long time that I cannot send her anything.
The email reminders from florists to send her flowers make me sad.
I am so thankful that I had a mother for whom special occasions were so special.
Much of the wonderment of my childhood was because of her.
My love of such things is because of her.
So, I miss her even more on these special times.

I encourage you to make special memories for  your children.
They are watching what we do and they may have no idea how you have influenced them
until they are much older and do the same things in their families.
What a wonderful legacy to leave
as you do all with joy, gladness and because you love them.
It doesn't have to be expensive. Be creative.
They will remember your joy and love more than what you did.
Thanks, Mom
I miss you!