"...like a woman."

Many years ago we took part in a program that asked families to host someone from a different country in their homes for three weeks. Our children were pretty young and we thought it would be a good experience for them to learn about different cultures as my husband and I did when he was in the USMC in the early '70's when we lived in Okinawa.

A 31 year old woman named Catherine from France was chosen to stay with us. It was a very memorable experience.

Over the years since then, something she told me about herself has come to my mind very frequently.

She once told me that she would love to serve us some authentic French meals while she stayed with us. But then added, "I do not cook like a chef.  I cook like a woman".

She cooked many things for us and I hope she enjoyed what I cooked for her.

Many things about her stay with us stand out, but...."...I cook like a woman."  stuck with me. I thought about what it meant to cook like a woman. I thought about what it meant to do anything like a woman, not just cooking.

Ideally,  a woman considers the health, likes and needs of her family in planning her menus. She works within the budget, or certain parameters, when she buys food. She delights in serving her family and  making guests feel at home. She makes things attractive but not fancy necessarily---although that can be lots of fun! The heart of the one who cooks is humble and that of a servant who takes pleasure in what she does. The one who cooks like a woman may not have all the right knives for each task, gadgets or certainly the skills a chef might have and probably not the time in her busy day that a professional chef does. But she cooks for her family and does the best she can with what she has and is able to do.She makes cookies with her children, she works with them in the kitchen. She loves when her husband grills for them or tries his hand in the kitchen. This is cooking like a woman. Edith Schaeffer in her book The Hidden Art of Homemaking encourages women to create art in their homes in how we decorate, how we do just about everything including cooking and serving meals. I highly recommend this book if you need a kick-start in using your God-given creativity in every area of living.

But we do not always love cooking. We get tired. We get in recipe ruts. We have hard days after which we do not feel like cooking----or eating. It can be a struggle to provide good food for our families much less feed others and help the needy or infirm. This is reality.

I do not believe that we need to be "Suzy Homemaker" all the time, slapping a fake smile on our worn faces, smiling when we feel like crying or yelling at no one in particular.But we need to be aware that our children and others are watching. We need to be real, but if you do not find joy in the things God has called you to do as a woman, wife, mother, homemaker then you must cry out to God to give you that delight in your calling.

Consider the ramifications of what you do, how you approach being a homemaker. Because whether we know it or not,  we are influencing others.

While we are shopping for, preparing, planning meals, and maybe even gardening, we are teaching our children. Are they learning that it is a joy to do those things? Are they learning creativity?  Do they get the idea from watching you that being a good steward of what we are given includes not only making wise  spending choices, but also encompasses nutrition, food preferences and not being wasteful?

Or are they learning that Daddy doesn't make enough money, God doesn't provide enough, nutrition doesn't matter, shopping is an inconvenience, cooking is a nuisance, it doesn't matter what you eat, you put on the "dog" for company but eat badly when it's just your family.

As women, we have the power and influence to teach our children so much by our mere actions. "Do as I say, not as I do" is dangerous. It teaches hypocrisy. Are your girls going to want to grow up to be wives and mothers who serve and take care of their families? Or will they learn, from you, that there's no joy in it. Will they learn to distrust God and men? Will your boys look for a woman who is  "...just like the girl that married dear, old Dad" as the old song goes?  Or will they learn that being "just a housewife"  is brainless drudgery or worthless instead of  the high calling that it is?  Will they find young women who desire to be homemakers uninteresting? Will they disrespect or not allow their wives to stay home to be homemakers and full-time mothers because of what they have learned? Oh, ladies, we must be careful. We have so much power and influence.

Don't pretend with your children. Be real----let them know it is hard at times---or maybe for you, all the time. If you really struggle with this, pray for God to give you delight in what you do. Focus on the results of cooking, having a clean, reasonably orderly house, clean clothes neatly put away (by them!) and clean bathrooms to use-----show them that aspect of homemaking.  You will teach them reality. Some tasks just aren't pleasant but necessary and when done give pleasure and a sense of satisfaction. In every job there are hard times and unpleasant tasks. Do yours out of love for God and for those you love----and even those you don't particularly love.

Cook, clean, shop, plan, create and love like a woman. In it you will find joy. Seek it.......... Your family may well one day rise up and call you blessed---then again, they may not.  Do all as unto the Lord.

Time to get dinner on the table..... the meal I cooked like a woman cooks.
I just love being a woman, I hope you do too!

Kathi~